Is Perfect a Myth?

Should perfect exceed our grasp?

Everyday we are bombarded with beautiful models perfectly poised, rich celebrities walking the red carpet, and the overwhelming need to find physical perfection. The illusion of a George Clooney or Scarlett Johansson seems almost reachable in our day-to-day lives. With programs like ‘Take Me Out’ parading women and men with all the panache of a meat-market, one wonders if we have lost sight of real beauty.

Heading into the minefield of physical ‘beauty’ would be foolish at this point - one’s perfect is another’s ugly. But something that can be discussed without losing too many limbs is a perfect relationship. We are always told we will probably meet the person we marry at university, a daunting statement that, for me, takes the flare out of dating at all. It's statements like this that impress upon us the wrong ideas. Setting parameters to my life mean I still have very little choice in the matter – being Bohemian is so much more stimulating!

Recently, I read an article in the Mail about the falsity of the Mr. Perfect. It was claimed that you’d be better to plump for second best than find yourself with nobody at all. As a student it’s fairly likely you’re going to go through a series of women or men during your university years. Going for second best with an eye for a relationship or even marriage is hardly intelligent advice. I would never for a second consider picking a girl who liked me, yet I didn’t have much interest in, just because I couldn’t catch another - it’s ridiculous! If you believe that choosing someone convenient is going to save you from singledom, think again. That said, the idea of perfection is also tragically misplaced. So many girls I know have been out with the ‘sweetest guy – attractive and understanding’ yet say that this pretense of ‘perfection’ was their downfall. It was all too boring for them.

So, am I suggesting that neither provide us with a successful union? Well, in a word, yes. I’m asking you to re-think perfect. For me, it’s not faultless. I think to judge perfection, you must judge success. No man or woman, no matter how attractive, intelligent or cultured will provide you with a flawless answer. This is where childish fantasies of a Mr. Darcy or Notting Hill are overcome by reality. No matter what you see on screen, life is really far more urbane than that crisp celluloid dream.

To be deluded, perfect is to deny everything that makes us individual. Projecting the ideal image of someone, based on your own idiosyncrasies is far from rational. But it is tempting to believe so. A perfect relationship is one that revolves around each other's faults – accommodating them is overcoming the myth. You can see past the delusions and naivety of youth to something much more special – understanding one another. Why believe you can change someone as stubborn as yourself into something they are not? You cannot mould someone into the perfect partner – we all take away different things from our past but ultimately you never really change. But with me, I guess only time will tell…

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