The Elusive Male describes how a premature end to a relationship has inspired his summer plans.
The Elusive Male tells why he ended his relationship with drugs.
Cem Turhan discusses his hate, and lust for straight men.
I have seen over the past two and a half terms some mates who have fallen into relationships. What had started off as a harmless bit of fun had escalated into a relationship. Whenever I ask them why they did it to themselves they have all pretty much responded with, "Mate, it’s sex on tap." Not only do I sincerely doubt this, but sex wouldn’t be enough to get me into a relationship anyways. If I wanted to get laid I would just go to Ziggy’s. Seeing my friends get snared meant that I was on my guard for any girls who might try and leash me as well.
It was lucky I was wary, because I started seeing a lot of one of my conquests. I met her the usual way: went to Ziggy’s, found a girl, bought her a VK, took her back to mine, job done. I met her out a few times after and got her to come back to mine, without buying her a VK. This should have been warning enough.
Then one night she called me and asked if she could come over later. I obliged, envisioning a good night ahead and was not disappointed when she came over dressed as Marilyn Monroe after a social of some sort. After a great night it was only the next day that I realised what was happening; she was trying to capture me as my friends had been captured. It was at this moment when I thought it was time to sack her off.
Now I actually didn’t mind this girl so I decided to tell her straight up that I didn’t want a relationship. I would wait for the right time and then tell her. Obviously I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, so the right time would be as late as possible or whenever she eventually brought it up.
So, a few weeks and a Boots fun-pack of condoms later, she eventually asked me what was happening between us. Sensing that this was the right time I told her that there was no way that I wanted to be in a relationship. I thought that telling her the truth was the fairest way and it seemed to work well - we haven’t spoken since she walked out of my room in tears, but I reckon we’re still cool.
I did feel bad afterwards, but after thinking about my mates who are trapped in relationships I just felt relieved to be out of it. After all, it’s better to tell her early and risk temporary heartbreak, than to end up in a relationship, making yourself feel miserable for ages.
How simplistic. I understand this casanova crap is intended to be taken with a pinch of salt and is suppossed to be humourous - yet this isnt remotely funny, just boring. You're confining yourself to a sterotype, one that makes it unlikely that any one would feel in the least inclined to get in a relationship with you. Too predictably boring.
I lol'd.
sounds like cassanova has emotional issues..
who says "anyways" in this country? and "get laid" - sounds like someone's been watching too much Gossip Girl...
I think that the entire article is supposed to be a parody - people are unlikely to think that getting laid before she leaves crying is a good thing.
Anyways, why all the anonymous?
>.>
You can do a lot more with parody than this.
Also just because it may be parody it doesn't justify the boredom it induces.
Anonymous? Because sometimes it can be refreshing. A lack of ego one might say. I don't need to attach my name to all my thoughts, instead i can just place them out there suggestively.
Surely you'd buy a K2 in Ziggy's, not a VK?
comment deleted by the author Alex: You can get Blue VK I believe, but the rest are K2s...
And Casanova: Don't you mean 'suck her off'? OI OI!
have you ever actually been in a relationship?
I'm pretty used to hearing guys say all of what 'Casonova' does, and on a regular bases. I wouldn't publish it online! The amount of basic grammatical errors is completely unbelievable. Add the ridiculous, stereotypical, offensive to men cliches, and you have an amazing waste of internet space.
I agree #11. The yorker needs a revolution. I think having a section entitled 'Alpha Male' says enough.
I wish I was as cool as Casanova...
#12 As far as I know, the vast majority of The Yorker's writers and editors are female - no revolution required.
#11, I challenge you to point out an "unbelievable" amount of grammatical errors: I count one, maybe two erroneous commas. Perhaps if you fancy pointing out grammatical errors on a "regular bases" [sic] you could join The Yorker as a sub-editor and help make the world a better place? 
I agree #11. All of Casonova's pieces are full of stupidly long sentences with no commas, no hyphens, semi-colons OR colons (all of which do, actually, make the difference between something that is easy to read, and something that reads like it was dictated to a five year old. It just seems silly. Did no-one proof read this?
In response to #14 when i said a revolution it was not at all to do with the inclusion of females. Take a look at 'Metrosexual Madness' - that's written by a female and it isn't any more empowering, interesting or relevant? I simply meant interesting articles written by interesting people.
This looks really cool.
All I can say is that any girl who is stupid/drunk enough to climb into your bed probably deserves to be mistreated.
Seriously, girls of York, get some self-respect so this tool stops being so smug!
You sad, sad little moron.
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