Standing up for yourself: Alpha Male style

When one alpha male physically or verbally insults another alpha male, he can expect repercussions on a large scale.

History is full of great battles between big, real men: Nelson v Napoleon; Albarn v Gallagher; Tom v Jerry. These battles were prolonged and often ended in stalemate or mutual destruction. When an alpha male turns his wrath on an inferior being, however, the result is very different.

The little sissy will give in to his fear immediately, often cry, and sometimes run to his mummy for assistance.

To the alpha male in question, this is on one level irritating and on another disappointing. Irritating in that no alpha male wants to be distracted from their main aims in life by dealing with complaining parents or wailing blabbermouths, and disappointing because, in reality, all a good alpha male wants is competition.

Having a designated opponent immediately give in is just no fun for us, we live for the challenge. The aim of the taunts and kicks to the shins are not to stun you into submission, but simply to make you rise to the occasion and become an alpha male yourself.

We alpha males are essentially optimistic about the potential of other men to be one to, however deep down. Look upon our bullying as a helpful service. ‘Friendly bullying’, if you will.

Some men, however, don’t rise to the occasion. They need to be told. So, as if my coercion and all the help I have subtly provided so far were not enough, I am now going to spell it out in clear English. Heed this advice. Divided into four clearly defined sections, it should allow most men to stand up for themselves in a way that will earn you the respect of both the alpha male that takes the time to ‘educate’ you and those fellow ‘non-alphas’ around you.

It will elevate you.

It might just save your life.

The first step is all about body language. If you give away your lack of alpha male credentials in the first two seconds of any conflict through the reaction of your body, then the battle is already half lost. Fidgeting, nodding or smiling apologetically, therefore, are all to be avoided. Any of these reactions will simply convince the alpha male of your inferiority, and you may never recover from this blow.

Responding in the high-pitched squeal of a nine-year-old girl will earn you no respect whatsoever

Don’t allow yourself to appear conciliatory right from the off, for you will severely damage yourself before you’ve even had a chance to adequately defend yourself. The best idea is to completely minimise your body language, especially the negative stuff. Stay still and look the person in the eye. Don’t interrupt them.

Let them say their bit, and then make it clear that it’s your turn next.

When you do get the opportunity to speak, speak directly and in the first person, by starting your sentences with the likes of “I disagree” or “I think”. This makes it clear that you are prepared to defend yourself against any attempt to minimise you.

Avoid the words “I’m sorry”, regardless of the context you use them in, for this is a passive statement and this situation does not call for passivity. You should never have to apologise for standing up for yourself. Tell that alpha male what you think and make it clear that you owe him no apology for sticking up for yourself.

He’ll respect you for it.

Thirdly, be aware of your how your voice sounds. Getting too animated or muttering incomprehensibly will only make you seem weak and unable to get your point across. Your tone of voice is also crucial. Responding in the high-pitched squeal of a nine-year-old girl will earn you no respect whatsoever, if anything it will make your situation worse. It also turns your statement into a question, when your aim is in fact to tell someone something, not ask them.

Ending your speech with a deeper tone than before gives your words authority.

You didn’t invite this situation on yourself, the other bloke started this. With this in mind, it is important that it is you that ends it with some sort of ultimatum.

Make it clear that you will not be budged in your opinion, and that it is up to him to “take it or leave it”. Bullies will not expect resistance, and you will prove yourself a worthy alpha male if you can demonstrate that you are prepared to fight your corner.

So, in four simple steps, how to assert yourself and defend yourself from undeserved attacks from alpha males. Follow them, and the distinction could become less blurred.

I could have just signed my own death warrant.

P.S. Alpha Male does not condone bullying of any sort. Unless it is ‘friendly’.

• Thu, 5th Jun 2008 3:37pm - Deleted by a moderator

#1 has a point, this article is rambling and poorly written. I can't quite figure out what it's trying to say, other than if you want respect, get into fights?

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seems like its more about arguments than fights to me. makes sense mostly

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• Sat, 7th Jun 2008 2:41am - Deleted by the author

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