Summer term. Two words that can make any student break a sweat, and not just at the thought of endless hours gazing out of the library window at the glorious sunshine and the impending doom of exams, but for the myriad of other stressful things that summer brings…
1. Letting go of the jumper
University has made me a big fan of the jumper. A good jumper can see you through hangovers, post Nisa-binge food babies, and can cover up the fact that you only have the last holey t-shirt with cute little deodorant patches left until you can afford to top-up your laundry card.
Then the sun comes out and all bets are off: sartorially speaking, you cannot win. Go ahead, reveal your reluctant swathes of bare flesh in the vain hope that you won’t gain dodgy tan lines and an interesting array of gnat bites. Alternatively, you could always opt for jeans or good old black tights, causing everyone to shout “what are you doing in them?! You’re making me hot just looking at you! Relax, kick back, peel off your layers” in a way that makes you feel like you’ve come out accidentally wearing your nun’s habit, again, what are you LIKE?
Definitely a good idea. So cute, so carefree. Shifting every ten minutes to find another patch of sun whilst eating limp carrot-sticks in warm hummus and half-melted chocolate fingers, an array of handbags arranged about your person so that your one and only summery dress doesn’t fly up and flash innocent passers-by, all whilst cultivating some interesting grass imprints on the backs of your thighs is 100% going to look good on Instagram. Give it a decent filter though, sun’s gone in.
3. Holidays with your new friends
So you’re panicking about how you’ll manage through the long, lonely summer without each other. Who else will come home from a night out and indulge in screamingly gross, mayonnaise covered foods, intense bitching and generally glorious squalor with you? You’ve come to terms with the facts that you probably won’t work, won’t get a last minute summer internship and won’t make it on that three-month trip to the Galapagos Islands.
You decide to pool your resources and spend maximum time drinking anywhere abroad
somewhere cultured. You compare calendars and realise there’s a window of around two days in June that you can all do. Someone mentions the time there was turbulence on their plane journey and they did a small, but real, wee in their pants. You narrow the plane journey down to two hours. You attempt to sell Birmingham Airport as a “central location” to fly from, despite you being the only person that doesn’t live in London. You have a huge, tearful argument about whether Barcelona or Madrid will have the best nightlife. You eventually end up spending two nights in a hostel next to a gay bar in Berlin, sharing a room with two perky Canadian girls that all your male friends immediately attempt to pull.
4. At least you’re saving money on heating though, right?
Right. And you know what’s also a money saver? Don’t bother with the sauna, just go about your business cooking dinner in your lovely communal kitchen, and enjoy the steamy windows, sticky fringes and thick, treacle-y air as you chow down on those potato smileys.
5. Prolonged day drinking
Everyone loves a lengthy session in the beer garden, granted. We are DONE with sipping hot chocolate in coffee shops. We want to guzzle pints of cider in the sunshine. We want to be cajoled into buying our tenth round even though we’re definitely only a few sips into our pint. And okay, so maybe we did pass out halfway through that game of rounders and end up snogging a wasp, but yes we definitely do want that pitcher of Pimms if you’re getting one in, thanks.