Are you reassessing your relationship?

 

Relationships
Image: Pixabay

Let’s face it with Valentine’s Day having only just passed; it may have made you reassess some things in your relationship. Don’t worry though you’re not alone, which is why I’ve listed three common relationship issues and solutions to help you out.

 

  1. Struggling with long-distance?

 

It can be hard to commit to someone when you go weeks or months without seeing them in person. And no matter how many times you two try to make the time to speak over the phone it just isn’t the same.

What you need to ask yourself is: is it worth it? Yes, the calls can be abrupt and you can feel like you two don’t connect with each other like you used to but could it be resolved with an honest chat? Chances are if you’re feeling you’re growing apart then they are too. Try to have this conversation in person and let them know how you feel- don’t sugar-coat the truth. Be as honest as possible if you are hoping to resolve your problems and think realistically what you both need to do to make it work. Perhaps it’s a simple issue of not putting in the effort to contact them regularly or you’re calling them when you’ve just got home and you’re exhausted (and let’s face it probably when you’re not in the best mood)!

Are you the only one putting the effort in? If your partners’ messages consist of small talk and they’re not putting any effort in then why bother? Remember a relationship shouldn’t be one-sided – it works both ways. So maybe if long-distance is causing more harm than good and the arguments are going round and round in circles then maybe you have to accept that it’s not working.

Either way, just know long-distance is very challenging and strenuous. Sometimes you will have to make short-term sacrifices in your relationship, which will pay off when you’re reunited. So both work at it or to put it simply don’t bother.

 

  1. Lost trust in your relationship?

 

Sure, we all experience some form of trust issues in our relationships but is it founded? Sometimes with social media, we drive ourselves crazy looking into problems that aren’t really there. Found yourself checking on your partners’ phone when they’re not looking? Always checking up on them when they’re out? Stop. It will just cause more paranoia and before you know it you’ve spent hours wasting your time online. If you’re overthinking things perhaps you just feel insecure in your relationship and could do with some reassurance from your partner – just tell them. After all, how are they supposed to read your mind?

Yes, for some of you, your paranoia will be founded and you have to follow your gut instinct if you suspect your partner of cheating. Ask them head on and see how they act. But please don’t fall into the trap of believing everything they have to say – we all know cheaters are the best liars and the most manipulative. They can tell you everything you want to hear but actions speak louder than words.

But let me tell you one thing I know for a fact; once you lose trust in a relationship everything crumbles, without trust you have nothing. Once a cheater always a cheater seems to be the most common phrase and you’ve heard it so many times because it’s true! Don’t settle for mediocrity in a relationship, you know you can do better.

 

  1. Constantly arguing in your relationship?

 

Let’s get one thing straight, it is impossible to be in a relationship without any arguments. In fact, it is perfectly normal and only human. Think about what you’re arguing about. Maybe you and/or your partner are going through personal issues and are just stressed and taking your anger out on each other. In that case, you have to talk as we all know communication is key. Put yourself in their shoes. Don’t raise your voice, be civil and don’t get personal. Be constructive ‘I don’t like when you do this … because … so next time can you please …. and I will try my best to …’. See, it doesn’t have to be impossible.

Can your arguments easily be resolved by making some small changes? I’m not talking about making significant changes like not going out because your partner doesn’t like it or you having to give up spending time with your friends. I’m talking about the small but important sacrifices. With relationships, you have to give to receive. If you seriously want to make things work then do something. Stop arguing and think what you can both do to make things work.

At the same time, arguments don’t stem from nothing. If you’re both fed up of going round and round in circles, feel like you’re talking to a brick wall and have to be the one to constantly apologise for your partner then that’s not okay.

You shouldn’t be with someone if you’re not happy; life is too short. Fix it or accept the relationship isn’t working.

 

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Lauren Masri

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