‘No, trust me, I can travel to other dimensions!’ I say taking a sip from my glass of whiskey, but I know there is no point in insisting. The man in front of me won’t believe me no matter what I say. I can also tell he is about to leave. I’m sure I scared him, but I don’t really care. It’s what happens all the time.
‘You have a funny imagination, boy! Maybe you should write a book or something’ he says standing up. ‘Nice talking to you’ he continues, then, with a small wave to the barman, he leaves me alone at the bar. Lucky guy. Little does he know how much truth I’ve spoken tonight. But he doesn’t. And he will forget about our discussion in the next few minutes. I find this hilarious. How easy it is to hide the truth in plain sight. And terribly tormenting, I might add. But this is the only way I won’t go insane. Sometimes, after a conversation like this I find myself hard to believe as well as the person in front of me does. But then the TIME comes and I come back to reality. Although, I found that in my case reality is such a relative term.
Oh, why am I telling this to you? You won’t believe me either, so why would I bother? But, since I’ve started talking already, I guess I might as well continue. I’m a cursed being. Well, that’s what I call myself anyway. I like it because it’s like I’m blaming someone else for what is happening to me. How exactly am I cursed? I was born in between dimensions, in a void. I have no family, no friends, and I’m the only one of my kind. And this is not all. I don’t know who or what I am. I don’t know my age, my gender, my name, or…how I look. Yes, that’s the worst part. I can’t see myself or my reflection. I’m staring at my hand right now and all I can see is a blur. I can only rely on what people say about me. But that’s very tricky too, because I’ve been called many things – boy, girl, man, woman, kiddo, grannie, grandpa, homeless, rich and so many more. So, you can probably tell that’s not very helpful either. Recently, I came to the conclusion that I am what people want to see in me. I can’t make friends because people forget about my existence very quickly after I talk to them. That’s why I feel safe telling strangers about myself. It’s become a game that I play very often to maintain my sanity. Go somewhere, preferably crowded, and start a conversation with a stranger about my surreal existence. The person in front of me laughs in my face, they say I should get a doctor, some offer to call the doctor themselves, but as soon as they get their phones out of their pockets they forget what they were doing.
In case you’re not blown away yet, I also travel between dimensions. I’ve only discovered three so far, but I’m pretty sure there are many others out there. The portals, however, will take me wherever they want. I cannot choose. So the destination is a surprise every time. I can’t stay longer than a day in a dimension. When the Time comes my heartbeat rate escalates and every reflective surface shines so bright it blinds me even though there is no light in the room. That’s when I know it’s Time to go. The reflective surfaces are my portals. I only need to touch one and I’m transported to a new place every time. Same dimensions, but different places.
I recognize these dimensions by the way society is constructed. It’s actually pretty interesting. There is the one we are in right now. This one is male dominated. I find this dimension very filthy, very corrupted and very disorganized. The only thing that I like about it are the endless quantities of alcohol that you can find in bars. The second dimension is not that much better. It’s the opposite of this one, but not in a good way. Females are in command in that dimension and unlike this one, it is extremely ordered and strict. No rule is to be broken. I can’t go to bars there. I usually sit on benches in parks and talk to men who take their children for walks. It’s so weird, because, when you think about it, these two are the extremes of the same line. Why does there have to be a gender to dominate? The third dimension has it right. It’s my favourite one, actually. Those people are blind, or better said, they choose to cover their eyes and use their other senses to ‘see’. They understood that this is the only way to maintain equality. It’s very beautiful, you know. To look at a sea of blindfolded people interacting with each other, unaware of how the others look or what they are. Especially when you compare it to the other two dimensions, where physical appearance is the first thing to be judged. They take their blindfolds off only in the presence of the people they created a relationship with – family, friends, lovers. This was the first dimension I saw and unfortunately, that was the only time. Since then the portals carried me back and forth between the other two. I don’t know what this means but I really wish I could go back there.
Oh, is it just me or the intensity of the lights became stronger? Or maybe it’s because I had too much whiskey tonight. Who am I kidding, we both know the Time is here. I’m afraid I have to say goodbye now. And thank you. You are the first who stayed till the end of the story without calling me crazy. Maybe you’ll be the first to remember me.
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